Before anybody accuses us of any bias, we have to point out we love the ‘Mish. First because they put on a blindingly bonkers Carry On party at Space every Tuesday. And also because they somehow manage to be absolutely fucking massive without losing their outlaw cred.
This year’s theme is so far off the beaten track it’s probably lost, but who cares when the posters look so good. According to the press release “THE PHANTASMAGORICAL MANUMISSION MYSTERY” is based on a “true” story.
How’s this for nuts:
CLONED BEAUTY SOLD INTO PORN
The story that shocked the world, hot off the press at THE NAKED PLANET, top selling news rag owned by multi millionaire mogul, VILE TIFIACCIAPOLE 2nd, eccentric naturist famous for forcing his entire female staff to work totally naked.
“THE NAKED PLANET BARES THE NAKED TRUTH.”
When Police failed to solve the shocking series of quasi-sexual, interconnected crimes, wrongly accused party hosts, Mike & Claire MANUMISSION turned amateur sleuths, to clear the names of the innocent and help unmuddle the mystery.
THE PRIME SUSPECTS being …
The philandering philanthropist, 75 years young
Multi millionaire mogul and eccentric naturist
Roberto Hoodini and the Hidden Question Marks
Wanted for the heist of the Columbian Green Goddess
Dr. Johan Larger-Shlanger
Physiotherapist analyst dwarf
Har Mar Superstar
Rock demi god
Unquote. The last of these characters is the Ibiza virgin contracted to build on the popularity of the cabaret room that was such a success last year.
The diminutive Minnesotan recording artist is riding an MTV-endorsed wave of global popularity with an improbable but obviously rather amusing ugly white boy r&b loverman schtick. This is so far up Manumission’s alley it’s indecent, or it would be if it wasn’t Manumission. Andy McKay, the slightly square but organisationally-gifted brother of Mike (master of very public relations), caught Mr Superstar’s show in London and promptly offered him the job of hosting one of the back rooms in the unfeasibly large Privilege nightclub in San Rafel.
It’s a sensible decision, especially as Har Mar’s European profile will be sky high after he completes the UK festival circuit (Reading, Leeds, Glastonbury, Reading), dates in Hultsfred (Sweden), Dublin, and even an appearance with Kelly Osborne at the Electric Ballroom in London later on this month.
(Note for gossip hags – Kelly and Har Mar went to the MTV Music Video Awards together last year.)
We met him at a Manumission rehearsal earlier this week after he’d run through the finale with the requisite Benny Hill-esque chase scene, trapeze artists, dancing girls and even a panting dwarf.
Har Mar isn’t exactly statuesque himself and his style is also plainly indebted to the mustachioed chubby porn king Ron Jeremy.
In his own words:
Us: Have you been to Ibiza before?
Him: No, this is the first time.
Us: What is Ibiza’s reputation abroad?
Him: It’s a crazy party island, lots of nudity and fun.
Us: How did you get the gig?
Him: I think Andy and Dawn saw me play on a Sara Cox’s show Born Sloppy. They came to see me in London because they wanted me to do one night in the back room. But then after they saw me play they asked me to host the back room and they picked my single to be like the finale and everything.
Us: What have you heard about Manumission?
Him: Big crazy parties that anything happens, and everything happens. That’s kinda all I know.
Us: What will your show involve? Where will you do it?
Him: I’m hosting the back room with Tim Sheridan [ex-Dope Smuggla] and yeah I’m going to do some performances in there of my own stuff. Kinda just bring in a bunch of acts this summer, andf stuff like that. I’m bring the Rapture in and that’s gonna be really good to get a live band in there that’s like dancey. You know because I don’t think much of that happens around here.
Us: Will there be audience participation?
Him: I just go with whatever’s happening.
Us: What was the best gig you’ve ever done?
Him: No idea. I don’t remember most ‘em, I’ve done thousands of ‘em, y’know.
Us: Why r’n’b?
Him: I like r’n’b a lot.
Us: What do you think of house/trance/dance music in general?
Him: I’m not really into it. I don’t mind it. I’d never buy a house or trance or techno record.
Us: What’s the scene like in Minneapolis?
Him: It’s a lot like rock-based, so there isn’t like a very big club scene and if there is it’s just a bunch of meatheads trying to fight each other, y’know.
Us: Are you mates with Prince?
Him: I see him around, he’s always got like, tons of body guards. He’s not really hanging around.
Us: Are you going to party a lot in Ibiza, or will you take it easy?
Him: Like when I’m here I’ll be partying. I’ll be back and forth from London a lot just because I have two singles coming up this summer and I’m doing all the UK festivals, and I’m bringing some of the Manumission girls to be my partners so that should be pretty fun. I’ll be working on that but I’ll be in and out. I’ll be here about half the time I’m guessing.
Us: Are you planning to get laid a lot?
Him: Yeah, definitely. I’ve got no commitments, so I can go crazy.
Us: How many people have you slept with?
Him: I haven’t kept count, but somewhere in the 50s probably.
Us: What are you like in bed?
Him: I like to get girls off before I penetrate, y’know what I mean. At least get ‘em worked up so it’s not like a one way street.
Us: Have you got any sexual health tips for kids out there?
Him: Stick with hand jobs.
Us: If you could shag any celebrity, alive or dead, who would it be?
Him: Probably Susan Sarandon, at any age. I think she gets hotter and hotter.
Us: What music have you released recently? Anything coming up soon?
The first one’s called Power Lunch, that came out like earlier this year in the UK, and the song you’ve just heard, Brothers & Sisters, though you couldn’t really hear the vocals, that’s gonna be the single in August, and actually next week I have a single called EZ Pass coming out next week.
semi-lewd posters for this song have been banned from London Underground stations, but it’s exactly that sort of attitude which brought Manumission to Ibiza in the first place.
Check the site next week for exclusive photos of Manumission & Carry On Openings.
THE FULL MONTY - Can you spot yourself amongst the throngs at Manumission Opening? MORE