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Anyone would think war was about to break out in the Costa del Med. That US tanks are poised to roll down the streets of San Antonio, leaving us huddled in holiday flats with only beach towels for protection and C-rations of chorizo and olives. Which doesn't sound so different from previous holidays… Maybe blowing the whole place up would keep the government happy. Then they could rebuild the Bahia as a giant, all-inclusive golf resort for the pastel jersey brigade. Hang on - let's not go giving them ideas.

Especially as long as they're distracted by the hair-raising news Space might have to shut till four. What does that matter, you ask? On a scale of one to 10 (with open war as number one and racially motivated genocide at three) I'd be hard pressed to put it at more than a five. The people it matters to are the ones worried about the destruction of San Antonio, funnily enough. It seems the all-inclusive law being pushed through by the pleasant councillors of Ibiza Town would also see the closure of every fun pub, sports bar and bowling alley from Figueretes to Gracioneta. Which explains the hype; the outrage.

How dare the politicians ban Vicky Pollard and her BFFs from watching the footie before four in the afternoon?! How dare Koppa's have its licence to play 2Unlimited all day restricted?! Realistically, how dare the town councillors of one side of the island legislate on behalf of the other?! Whilst the politicians bicker like a bunch of kids having a kick-around the only people who will really be affected this time are small businesses and the locals themselves.

Us? Your standard-issue hardcore Ibiza rave monkey? Well, when was the last time you went to Space before midday? Honestly? The days of dressing up to the nines at eight in the morning, quaffing a Croissant Show coffee and nipping to the Terrace are, sadly, a distant memory. Granted, with drugs still pounding a rhythm in our brains we have found ourselves thinking 'What's Up?' occasionally before 10AM. And we once ended up at La Troya after-hours when we mistook the entrance of the club for our front door. But on the whole, Matinee, We Love… and DC10 included, daytime clubbing in Ibiza hasn't started till mid-afternoon for the last few years. Hell, you could do a head count at midday at Circoloco and not run out of fingers.

All the hype, all the kerfuffle, all the wasted air is not going to change anything at this stage and staying away from the island will only pander to the powers that be. What's the solution? What's the plan? Wide scale demonstrations? Major league boycotting of town hall events? Blanket email campaigns to the councillors involved? More likely Generation E is going to do the only thing it knows how: party harder. Party hard for the right to party. Party hard for the right to party.

Party anywhere and in anyway you can.

Party in every villa, apartment, hotel and lobby.

Party coming in on the plane and party on the way out again.

Party with a big two fingers up to everyone who tries to control it.

Maybe it's a cause worth campaigning for… 

Or maybe it's just another excuse for a rave.

Speaking of raves:
Tiesto is bringing his to Privilege every week it appears… a certain director's job is hanging on it allegedly. Hang on tight to your hats as the merry-go-round continues spinning.  

It might be the biggest party we see this year, Ibiza Rocks is looking at other venues after the town hall rejected its plans for using the San Rafael Hippodrome for its mini rock fests. Someone should let them know that clubs are not the best friends of the folks upstairs just now, but I can't think of any other venue big enough for that scale of an event. Unless the Zoo becomes a permanent structure… big plans underfoot for that spot, 'superclub' big if the rumours are to be believed.  

At least the original superclub, Ministry, is back in its place, i.e. off the island safely in London. Seems their ambitious plans for Space were "too British" and they've been gazumped by Cassagrande. (That's not a snigger coming from this corner, I've a slight touch of island flu I'll have you know.) 

And on the topic of giant clubs and egos (no, really we were) plans are now running along for the International Music Summit. I'm not sure what technically constitutes a summit, but I'm fairly certain that 'international' would need to involve something other than the English. So the website is in English, the speakers are all English and the panel consists of Ben Turner's mates (including Ibiza Voice founder JEJEJE...). Oh, and Pete Tong.

It would probably be a "Pacha summit" had he not so rudely left. Or, more appropriately, a Pacha Magazine summit. Although it couldn't be that either, because even the UK magazine editors have got to pay to attend, besides having their well-known and internationally renowned DJ Top 100 dissected by Pete's pals on an amusingly entitled forum.

And in other news...
Eden's got a new roof terrace. And Mambo's got no music. Amnesia is opening a week early, and there are illicit deals being done to keep the clubs closing at 6AM. The elusive Association of Discotecas is raising its ugly head again, vowing to outlaw the private party, in exchange for leniency towards their opening party times. Certain club owners are actually encouraging their promoters to book DJs until 7AM, but we'd hate for you to take that information the wrong way.

We think longer DJ set could see a resurgence. "Only booked DJs to start at 6.30 and now your club's opening at midday? No problem - DJ extend brings to you - the 3 hour set! Just plug it into your DJ and his set will become a whole hour longer. Filling your extra time nicely" I might go trademark that… I'm sure someone 'round here knows how.

It's certainly not the year of the promoter… but it might just be the year of the party. Cut through the hype, and you might catch a glimpse of a good summer ahead.  

(Everything written above is pure speculation and bitter lies and iBIzA ViCe would like to emphasis that our jealous gossiping like this is what keeps the waters of the island bubbling, so stir it up baby, stir it up...)

Ibiza Openings  May 16 - June 30 - Calendar Here