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Ibiza party people are down at the mouth at the moment, thanks to news from town hall indicating clubs and café-concierto licensed establishments won't be allowed to open before 16.30 (though San An is rebelling because local pubs fear the rules mean they won't be able to screen early football matches).

Unsurprisingly the island passion for hyperbole and drama is running high. If there were a theme song to all the drama it would be R.E.M.'s It's The End Of The World As We Know It.

However, in the rush to imagine the worst case scenario, people seem to have forgotten one thing: the only thing you can count on in Ibiza is the unexpected. So what if the Consell decides the clubs have to stay shut until 16.30 every day? Are partiers so faint of heart as to believe that means the end of fun in Ibiza? C'mon! Have a little faith in the mischievous ingenuity of the island's party lovers… nothing short of a tactical nuclear strike will stop Ibiza being a sunny, free-spirited paradise for beautiful people.

There are plenty of bright minds on the island already thinking of ways to make 2008 better than ever… here are a few loopholes they might exploit.

International Waters:
You may remember an episode of The Simpsons where Homer discovers that national laws don't apply in international waters.

It seems well within the capabilities of Pepe Rosello to buy a barge large enough to float the whole of Space a few kilometres off-shore where revellers can party 'round the clock.

And I imagine some entrepreneurial soul will waste no time setting up a water taxi service with those jet-skis they shill from the Playa d'en Bossa beach. 

Independence!
As we've seen with Kosovo it is - in certain exceptional conditions - possible for an oppressed minority to unilaterally declare independence from an unsympathetic sovereign state.

All DC10 needs is a Declaration of Independence ("We hold these truths to be self-evident, that Circoloco is the centre of the clubbing universe, and that its loyal followers have certain inalienable rights including the wearing of ridiculously large sunglasses, massive intake of… water, and continuous exposure to pounding techno music") and before you can say "revolution!" President Luciano will be rocking the Republic of DC10 with an uplifting national anthem (or two). 

We have lift-off:
Bora Bora had a tough summer last year and strict opening hours laws would really piss on the embers of this daytime institution.

There's a simple solution though: take flight. Given the hordes of Brits gooning about in the sunshine talking shit there is no shortage of hot air available. Why not fling a couple of giant sails over the top to catch it and let the party float gently out of earshot of beach below? 

Silent non-disco:
The "silent disco" has become a popular music festival feature - basically, a load of people are given headphones tuned into the DJ's set so they can dance without waking up the Neil Diamond fans kipping in the tent next door.

However, Ibiza wouldn't be the same without music in the air, so why not reverse the scenario and give headphones to anyone who doesn't want to dance? Folk who prefer "normal" sounds like crying babies, car horns, construction noise, couples arguing in the street and drunken Brits singing football chants will have them piped straight to their ears, leaving the rest of us free to get our groove on.  

"Ibiza club" time:
As a kid I thought they used a special unit of time to measure out the periods in American football - twenty-minute quarters lasted an hour so it seemed like a reasonable explanation.

The same principle, in reverse, could be used to satisfy the Consell's desire to have all the clubs shut for at least 10.5 hours: just create special "club" hours in a ratio of, say, three-to-one. Space, et al could throw their doors open after four "Ibiza club" hours and everyone who wanted to party could be on the terrace with a drink in hand by 10AM "regular" time. 

… And those are just a few thoughts. I'm sure the enquiring minds who have already turned a sleepy Mediterranean island into the sizzling party capital of the planet have plenty more aces up their sleeve. So don't despair, party people. Ibiza will never die. Remember, the full title of that R.E.M. song goes… It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine).