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It's the time of year when the words of Sandy Rivera most readily come to mind, NOT 'I'll lick your ice cream. And you can lick my lollipop', Praise the lord, there's never a time for those words, although granted it's nearly warm enough, more 'Changes. We're going through some changes'.
  
And ooh yes we certainly are. We're normally strong advocates of change. A fresh eye on something can sometimes have the most inspiring results. Sometimes. Other times people should just stay the hell away from things they don't understand and leave them the way they were.

Take the Consell. Have they any idea of how the club structure works? Have they the slightest concept of how they're going to control a potential 28,000 plus clubbers coming out onto the streets at 6 in the morning with absolutely nowhere to go and with no manner of getting there? Are they laying on extra taxis or club buses to remove everyone at the same time?

Have they proposals in place to deal with a concentrated period of club time? Or are they simply out of their depth and therefore clutching at straws in an effort to demonstrate that they're taking action - any action - with regards to the problem of the discothèques? 

Take Space Opening. Take 18,000 expected partygoers, all trying to get into the venue before 7pm, when the doors only opened at midday. Take hundreds of angry frustrated customers with prepaid tickets being told to go away for 4 hours while the club struggled to keep a hold of the chaos. Chaaaa-aa-aa-nges.  

And while we're at it, take Space Opening. A huge stadium style raised booth, with dancers in crappy furry hats miles beyond reach with a pop star shamelessly plugging his own tracks on a continuous loop of monotonous tat. (Norman hang your head, you're a disgrace to the term DJ) No. You know what. I preferred it how it was before thanks. Some things don't need to change just for the sake of it. 

And as for Amnesia. Has everyone been using the same builder? All that hype for a stone wall and a badly proportioned DJ booth. I've got better stone walls in my back yard. Surely there was some protection order on that tree on the terrace too? Cut down without a care. Isn't there a preservation society for foliage in discothèques? There ought to be. Write to your MP now.  

Other things are just beyond repair, and no amount of change can hide it. Come on Ibiza Rocks…It doesn't matter how much you dress up an 18-30's package hotel with fancy decoration, smoke and mirrors and B-list celebs on your opening night, what it left is still a fine cross between a all-inclusive club fixated shopping mall and a poor chav leisure centre in Bridlington. What's the point of it all? Why all that effort in the first place? Will more people come to the party?

Doubtful. Not when 10-year club residents like Colin Peters and Andy Carroll are cut willy-nilly from line-ups. Not when other clubs are already refusing to be associated with the hotel and actively working against it…. whole can of worms opening up in that neck of the woods, watch this space. 

Other change however is beyond some people's control. Spare a tear for poor (pure) old Pacha this weekend. Rolling out their new sensation in the form of the Swedes - shame there was hardly anyone there to witness it. Sometimes you just can't tell how the cookie's gonna crumble…

I wonder how long before Pete Tong's agent gets the call again… 

So it's all about this Friday then….it's about whether one DJ can really make a whole geographical area cool again. It's about how long Pete's Brazilian wife will last in Eden before some scouse muppet pukes on her Manolos.

I think Ladbrokes have got odds on it. 

In fact if everyone puts a bet on now, then maybe we could raise enough to rescue Pete midseason and stick him back in Pacha.. Or at least bail Eden out enough to keep the bailiffs at bay till September. So donations at the ready. Penny for the old Guy if it all goes wrong.  

Bookies favourites for the week ahead:

• 1_ 80/1 - Chances of Space event getting their website up in time for We Love Opening….sort it out tech-no bods!
• 2_ 2/1 - Number of times that Mar T played in comparison to all the other DJs at Amnesia Opening.  Well, when your Dad owns the club what would YOU do?
• 3_  4/1 - Predicted ratio of bar staff to punters in Pacha this Friday as the whole island goes to check out Pete at Eden.
• 4_  5/4 - Time that Eden will start to empty as people make their excuses and leave/escape the San An hordes
• 5_  2/1  - Favourites on Underground being the place where everyone will end up at the end of the night.  

(Everything written above is jealous sniping and sly hypotheses and iBIzA ViCe would like to emphasis that our constant bitching like this is what keeps the waves of the island breaking, so whip it up baby, whip it up...)