Out Of The Archive :: Space Ibiza Closing Game - Will you survive?...

Words by: Gregorio
Posted: 5/8/18 17:15

**** Originally posted in 2008 ****

Ahhh! *sighs* Space closing - the traditional finale to the Ibiza clubbing season, the last dance for workers, locals and tourists alike and in recent years, a monstrous beast that has grown and grown to festival like proportions.

So when half of the world's DJs descend on tiny Playa D'en Bossa for 17 hours of knob twiddling, button pressing and fan wafting, we simply want to know - will you be there and can you survive??

If you can answer "Yes" to any of the following statements, add the points and see how you score at the end: 

Before the party has even started, you have to contend with the Space PRs. Why so many? There are at least 50 in Playa D'en Bossa alone, which is ridiculous when putting that into the context of the 5 or 6 most other clubs or events have. Prepared to say "I already have a ticket" 50 times??
+ 10 points 

You enjoy being continually being elbowed in the temple by a Muscle Mary whose day job happens to be a superhero body double.
+ 5 points 

Paying €8 for a bottle of water, which costs €0.50 in nearby shops, doesn't grate on you, not one tiny single bit. Sound like the truth?
+ 15 points

You can handle the cheese. At Space Opening it was Fatboy Slime, for the closing you can take your pick from - Guetta, Tongy or Groove Armada.
+ 10 points.

Sasha is playing in the Discoteca, maybe back to back with old chum John Digweed, and it would be nice, it would be really fucking nice if they looked slightly interested. If you can cope with watching Sasha checking his email and playing Solitaire!
+ 5 points

Danny Tenaglia has made the terrace his own this year (and no I don't mean cos he's been the only one there - wink wink!), we're talking about the DT show of course. Sorry, you haven't heard. Yes, Danny is clearly thinking about a career on Broadway as he's been spending more time on stage than in the booth. Prefer style over substance?
+ 10 points

The queue to get in can reach biblical proportions, whatever that means. But get this, once inside you queue to go to the bar, go to the toilet, man you even have to queue to get out. Queue up for 10 points if you can deal with the wait! 
+ 10 points

You have a Sat Nav like understanding of the club's 7 dance spaces, which means you end up taking the premier etage to get from the sunset terrace to the discoteca and you constantly avoid the parking terrace because of the traffic jam. Ready to use your nouse instead of technology?
+ 5 points

You will be wearing a huge pair of outrageously oversized sunglasses.
+ 10 points. 

20 Free points for everyone here; when the parking terrace closes (or ideally well before), head into the discoteca or terraza, stake out your spot and stay there. BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE BRACE YOURSELF! People, you have been warned.
+ 20 points

How many points did you score?

20 - 39 Oh dear! You might possibly be one of the 18,000 people who don't enjoy it. You even got 20 points for free!
40 - 59 We're getting there but proceed with caution though. A few chupitos of Hierbas before you go in might help matters, not that we condone that sort of behaviour mind!
60 - 79 You're a pro, not further advice or guidance needed from us. Enjoy! 
80 - 100 You're a liar or a cheat! Nobody can handle all of the above, unless you're a first timer, go back and try again.

Peace everyone! See you there!

Win free guest list here  -  Space Ibiza Opening Gallery



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