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A Ministry of Sound press release got me thinking about what happens when underground electronic culture is co-opted by marketing experts.

According to an email from Ministry of Sound's press agency:

"The future of the SE1 venue has been put in doubt following a planning application by property developer Oakmayne. The company has submitted plans for a residential building on the site of the old Eileen House, which, if built, would sit opposite the Ministry of Sound building and could pose a significant threat to the club's entertainment license."

Lest anyone miss the "woe is us, poor oppressed bastion of youth culture slugging it out against greedy capitalists" subtext the release goes on to quote MOS CEO Lohan Presencer (a man who, in interest of full disclosure, threatened to cancel an interview with me if I asked any questions about his business dealings) saying:

"We [are] horrified. Ministry of Sound is not just any nightclub; it's the most famous nightclub in the world."

That particular whining noise is familiar. It is the same sound Ibiza clubs make every year as they trot out their ritual grievances against police, politicians, sound restrictions, licensing laws and anything else that stands between them and the giant piles of cash they feel entitled to. It is ridiculous in Ibiza, where the clubs actually need to make money, and a hundred times more so in the case of Ministry of Sound, given that the actual club is totally insignificant to their corporation.

As the press release says, Ministry has "Grown from [a] club in SE1 to a global brand."
This is precisely why nobody should give a damn whether or not the club is under "significant threat" - not that it necessarily is. A company applying for planning permission means any potential building is months from beginning, the completed project could be years from being inhabited. If there is any threat to the club's license, it is entirely speculative and far in the future.

A cynic might suggest Ministry of Sound is quietly manouevering to close the club while generating maximum publicity by blaming it on evil developers. (Lucky I'm not cynical.) Interestingly, MOS has already refused Oakmayne's offer to pay nearly half-a-million pounds to re-soundproof the club. (More here)

Whatever Ministry's motives, they don't deserve any sympathy because they are just as much a greedy corporate giant as Oakmayne. It is debateable whether they ever represented electronic music in an authentic way.

Certainly, they don't anymore. From endless cheesy compilation CDs to soft-porn workout DVDs, to running a "DJ Academy" at the club, the brand is principally interested in profit, not music. It is, of course, management's right to run the business as they see fit but they forfeit the right complain about corporate bullying.

Ministry of Sound - along with all the other big club brands - should remember one thing: you don't get to complain about the establishment when you are establishment.