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I try to ignore the grosser excesses of clubbing capitalism, but sometimes the big, fuck-off flashing neon greed signs are hard to ignore. Like the relentless bombardment of eflyers from the Monaco International Clubbing Show. Lord only knows how I got on the mailing list for this three-day orgy of self-promotion, but there I am. The MICS boasts a gaudy Flash site with enough weird moving graphics to give even the strictest teetotaler a headache. My instinct is that this is probably the most subversive and mind-altering thing about the whole "concept."

If memory serves me right and - despite a few too many years hugging bassbins - I think it does, clubbing and dance culture is meant to be about something other than an opportunity for mega- brands to coagulate in a rut of fiscally-advantageous mutual masturbation. Not any more though.

Go to the International Music Summit and you'll hear phrases like "brand identity" and "marketing potential" trip lightly off the tongues of the club promoters, DJs and managers alike. Electronic music is no longer about community, freedom and artistic innovation; it is about merchandising, logos and sucking the last euro/dollar/pound out of the gullible pie-eyes who still believe all that nonsense about peace, love, unity, et cetera. The Love Parade tragedy should have been the stake in the heart of the marketing monster, but unfortunately no. Captains of the clubbing industry will wring their hands, then get on with the business of wringing cash out of the punters.

Unfortunately, the idiots who make money their mission are so completely removed from the  spirit of clubbing that all they can muster is a grotesque parody. The MICS website (www.mics.mc/mics-anglais.html) is equal parts incoherent and vague. It claims: "The concept of the MICS is unrivaled as of today: our difference will be based on gathering unmissable people from the international night scene in a unique place and offering 3 intense key events scheduled over 3 days." What the hell does that mean? Who are these "unmissable people"? What is an "intense key event"? And as for "unique place" - every place is, by definition, unique. So what exactly are they trying to say? Dig through the crappy animation and it turns out the MICS isn't up to much. The list of "partners" is a random conglomeration of obscure business concerns. Notable by their absence are recognisable clubbing brands. It would be gag-worthy enough if Ministry of Sound, Cream, Pacha, Red Bull Music Academy, et al were involved but they at least represent something related, however crassly, to actual club culture. But they are conspicuous by their absence. Instead, the MICS partners include a catering company, a talent agency and a couple of local hotels. I'd won't bother to tell you the names because you wouldn't recognise them anyway. What it boils down to is a farcical attempt to cash in on club culture without the tiniest redeeming shred of credibility or knowledge.

Nor is it just blatant materialists suffering from a serious abdication of authenticity. Sonar - venerable, eccentric and once-upon-a-time refreshingly original and exciting Catalan music and art festival - is engaging in a brand expansion exercise in the form of "Sonar Chicago"  (www.sonarchicago.com/en/) Why, oh lord, why? Americans think "sonar" is something you use to find stuff under water. Trust me, they have no bleeding clue what or where Catalunya is, and the nuances of Appleblim's "new dubstep sound" will pass them by because they never heard the old dubstep sound. The whole silly enterprise might makes sense if Sonar Chicago made an effort to link its programming to Chicago's history as the home of house music, but it doesn't even pretend that much. Removed from its cultural context, and wilfully ignoring the historical and social implications of its new environment, Sonar Chicago promises to be stunningly vacuous.

Electronic music is still socially and emotionally relevant, but we are near a breaking point. How much exploitation can it take before club culture becomes as embarrassing as Justin Bieber?