Juves 30th Junio 2011. Picture the scene reader. A balmy, humid night in late June in Eivissa, women are adorned in skyscraper high heels, collagen injected lips and cheap dresses bejewelled with sequins and other shiny ornaments, supposedly a sign of class. Miami, it appears is in Ibiza and soon Ibiza will be in full throttle in Las Vegas. Beneath the naff over-sized champagne glasses filled with coloured feathers, beneath the framed picture of David seductively biting his wife Cathy's diamond engrained earlobe are women who smile broadly in ecstasy as a cheesy DJ drops 'somebody say hey, hey, hey' and whose hair is so peroxide white it could be used as a anti glare reflector. Continental middle aged types decked out in white linen and crassly swigging champagne glasses look awkward as they cannot decide whether to move or stand and 'watch' the DJ. A girl next to me passes her opinion 'Yeah, there seem to be a lot of business men with lots of money and no taste'. In the middle of this are cheap boob tube top wearing girls and boys who where ¾ length pants and deck shoes.
Probably, part of the demographic that have spent most of the year saving for their Ibiza blow-out to buy into an image of money, decadence at FMIF. There is the odd flicker of style here and there as a brown bodied goddess swishes past in a full length silk gown but, overall the vibe and people is a little trailer thrash-esque. "You see your too f*cking thin" says another guy to his girl in a deep Yorkshire, North England accent she laughs taking it as a compliment. As the warm up DJ goes for full on cheese overload, the anthems keep coming and the crowd chants in unison 'Lady Hear me Tonight' 'I wanna give you devotion' and 'rhythm is a dancer' as the crowd chants 'Woah it's a passion.'
'What's up Pacha? I am Will-Iam' says yet another of America's hip hop stars whose fascination with Ibiza continues. Usher coming next week, what is it all about? The thoughts of playing to a packed club? The heat and sweat and sexy women or that dance and hip-hop/grime are both roots led music movements emerging from urban clubs the world over and the stars are 're-connecting'. Though, as drinks are poured over peoples backs, feet are trampled on and a general level of pushing and shoving about continues one wonders when the true poetry is going to return to hip hop music and maybe give the style some grace again.
As the night continues the general rough pushing, shoving and scuffling in the crowd got worse. No disrespect to Pacha but overcrowding to the point where 3 security guards are grappling with clubbers and scuffles break out on the steps of the dance floor between people and clubbers are crushed in the sweltering heat to the point where they begin to hyperventilate and panic for breath is too far. Were 20 people dying in an over-heated tunnel last year at Love Parade not enough? What next? Are ambulances going to arrive at FMIF Pacha all for the sake of dinero? Where is the ethic of this night? Where is David Guetta to stand up and say enough people in the club? Where is his wife to go through the crowd and select which punters are suitable to come in like they did in the good clubs in the last decade. Pure money grabbing at the risk of people's safety and some clamour towards the venue having enough such as the young Asian girl who had been talking to me earlier who gives up and says 'Ah man, this is a terrible crowd and way too full, I'm off to Kehakuma' and a young couple outside who tell me 'It's too packed, it's horrible, not what we expected at all.'
Pacha's music policy used to be a lot more about the coolest sound and attracting the best crowd due to this. Tonight just seemed naff, commercial mainstream to bring in the money rather than the 'sound' and with its over-heating and illegal over-crowding is at a serious risk of causing an accident on the scale of the Love Parade tragedy in Germany last year.
F*** Me I'm Famous Ibiza
David Guetta & Guests, Every Thursdays from 26th May till 29th September
Avenida 8 Agosto - s/n - Ibiza, 07800
Phone: +34 971 31 37 50
Get Tickets On-line Here
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